If God meant me to sing, why send the rapist with tonsillitis / Si Dieu voulait que je chante, pourquoi m’a-t-il envoyé le violeur atteint d’une amygdalite?

If God meant me to sing, why send the rapist with tonsillitis?

Si Dieu voulait que je chante, pourquoi m’a-t-il envoyé le violeur atteint d’une amygdalite?

– Tristan Coleshaw.

Advertisements

Welcome to Tristan Coleshaw, my Bitches!

It’s me!

cropped-cropped-tristacoleshaw4.jpg

I decided that for better or for worse, I’m at my best when I’m just me. And also You’re the best when you’re just You. So let’s Me be Me and You be You, and together we can be the World. THE WORLD, I say.

Love, T xxxxxxx

Welcome back Janet Jackson!

If you were to think Janet Jackson was all but forgotten, the 4,650,000 views that her new single ‘No Sleeep’ on Youtube in only 5 days would suggest otherwise! It’s the kind of blend of ol’skool and hyper-now that JJ has been mastering since ‘That’s The Way Love Goes’, and more succulent than a rib eye. Enjoy!

The Universal Problem With Gay Poetry…

Below is an excellent article discussing the problems that authors of male gay poetry face in gaining recognition for their work. It also resonates with me because of one reply I got from a leading literary agent who read Fairytale, who told me that there was much to admire in my work, but due to its niche appeal would be hard-placed to land a commercial publisher. By niche market, of course, he meant gay. However, the million or more gay people in this country, I would argue, is not niche but it is neglected. It is ignored.

Here’s one writer’s thoughts on the problem. PLEASE COMMENT AND DISCUSS!

CLICK TO READ: “Other Avenues” by Gregory Woods.

Wishin’ Back Wednesday: the UK’s Eurovision legacy…

Greetings, Bitches!

So, yet again we bollocksed up our Eurovision chances with another piece of Easy Listening tat when the rest of Europe was actually taking the contest ‘seriously’. Let’s remember, however, some of our classic entries – not all of them winners, admittedly, but all of them legendary…

1. Gina G – Ooh Ah… Just A Little Bit

This one finished in 8th position in 1996, but went on to become the best-selling Eurovision song since ABBA’s Waterloo...

2. Bucks Fizz – Making Your Mind Up

Our 1981 competition winner is probably best-known for its skirt-ripping routine, and as the launch pad for Cheryl Baker’s illustrious TV career (judge the sarcasm for yourself)…

3. Katrina and the Waves – Love Shine A Light

Katrina won the competition in 1997 with 227 points, the biggest score ever in Eurovision history until that point. It was also their biggest commercial hit (#3 UK Charts) since their classic Walking On Sunshine. She smashed the contest only days after the UK General Election that brought Tony Blair and Cool Britannia to the forefront of the zeitgeist. Remember the days when we thought Britain was on the up?

4. Sonia – Better The Devil You Know...

After Katrina and the Waves, Sonia’s entry is the second most successful UK entry of the last 25 years, gaining 164 points and finishing in 2nd place in 1993. This one will always have a special place in my heart, not only for the underrated prowess of Sonia’s voice on the track, but also because this was my first ever Eurovision…

5. Lulu – Boom Bang A Bang…

In 1969 for the first time, the competition threw up four winners with a shared tally of 18 points, and our Lulu was one of them. Albeit not her finest hour musically, she will be forever remembered for in ‘that’ pink dress…

6. Love City Groove – Love City Groove…

This song came only 10th in 1995, but it did place UK Urban music on the Eurovision stage for the first time, and became a classic for my generation. Let us remember…

7. Brotherhood of Man – Save Your Kisses For Me…

A massive winner from 1976 and a pop classic that became the biggest-selling song of that year. That being said, the whole act, especially the dance, is undeniably weird (just listen to the final lyrics). Oh well, a win’s a win…

8. Imaani – Where Are You?

In 1998 we came very close to winning for a second consecutive year with this dancehall classic. It was not to be, however. Instead, we were pipped to the post by perhaps the most famous of all time and the most deserving star in the competition’s history, Israeli transgender artist Dana International. A worthy opponent.

9. Frances Ruffelle – Lonely Symphony (We Will Be Free)

This 1994 10th-place finalist is one of the few Eurovision entries that doesn’t sound like it was written for Eurovision, ie. one that stands up in the real world! It should have done better in the competition, and it should have done better in the charts, but this hasn’t stopped Frances Ruffelle from carving out a successful career as a performer in London’s West End…

10. Sandie Shaw – Pupper On A String…

Arguably the UK’s defining moment in Eurovision – Sandie Shaw became Britain’s first Eurovision winner in 1967 following a string of massive chart hits in the previous three years, thus cementing her place as one of Britain’s leading female performers of the 1960’s. We Love You Sandie!

DEDICATED TO ANNA MARIE HOOLE – Wishin’ Back Wednesday: HEARTACHE SPECIAL!!!

This week’s WISHIN’ BACK WEDNESDAY: HEARTACHE SPECIAL is dedicated to Anna Marie Hoole, for her championing of my work, and for the constant encouragement that I need so much. Love you Anna!

Now FEAST, Bitches!

1. Cher – Heart Of Stone…

2. Heart – Alone…

3. Lee Ann Womack – Twenty Years And Two Husbands Ago…

4. Celine Dion – It’s All Coming Back To Me Now…

5. Randy Crawford – Almaz…

6. Kacey Musgraves – Merry Go Round…

7. Billie Holiday – Strange Fruit…

8. Joni Mitchell – Nothing Can Be Done…

9. Miranda Lambert – Dead Flowers…

10. Tina Turner – When The Heartache Is Over…

Another week, another Soundtrack, another chance to partyyyyyyyy…

HAVE A GREAT WEEK, BITCHES! HERE GOES

moi1.jpg

MONDAY: BRANDY CLARK, STRIPES…

TUESDAY: REBECCA FERGUSON, GET HAPPY…

WEDNESDAY: CAMBODIA SPACE PROJECT, WHISKEY CAMBODIA…

THURSDAY: WHIGFIELD, 4EVER…

FRIDAY: HEART, STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN…

SATURDAY: VINNIE WHO, 39…

SUNDAY: BRANDY CLARK, GET HIGH…

Soundtrack of the week is BACK! Listen and enjoy this little musical tour of the world…

(N.B. I don’t own any rights to any of the following media, and make no income from showing them!)

1. Chances Are by Lee Ann Womack

Basically, no week is complete for me without a bit of reflection, soul-searching and heartache – not because I’m intrinsically morose, but just because! I guess that’s where the poetry comes from. And nobody gets that better than Lee Ann Womack (more from Lee Ann later!):

2. Maailmanloppu (World’s End) by Eleanoora Rosenholm

DARK, DARK, DARK! This little treat from Finland sounds like Winter. The drunken, struggling-to-pay-the-heating-bill kind of Winter. Mmmmm…

3. Still In Love With You by Electro Velvet (Eurovision 2015)

Yes, this is the UK entry for the Euro this year, and yes, it is shit. It’s the kind of shit, however, that given enough radio play and 4Music rotation, could become a novelty classic along the lines of Steps or S Club 7. It could even scrape a points tally that goes into double figures, but let’s not get our hopes up…

4. L’Anima Vola (The Soul Flies) by Elisa

A #2 hit in Italy in 2013, this is one of the most exquisite arrangements of any pop songs I’ve heard for yonks. It really speaks/sings/flies for itself…

5. La Differenza Tra Me E Te (The Difference Between You And Me) by Tiziano Ferro

This was the first hit for Italian megastar Tiziano Ferro after he came out of the closet, following a period of self-imposed exile in London while suffering with Depression. After a couple of listens, I’ll bet you anything you’ll be chanting the opening spoken words/title under your breath in an exaggerated bass voice…

6. Veep

For those who haven’t already seen it, Veep is one of the funniest shows on TV, following a disaster-prone Vice President of the United States played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Here is but one of her myriad political blunders, and one you’ll be humming all week:

7. Send It On Down by Lee Ann Womack

Jesus can you save me from goin’ crazy/ I need some help gettin’ out of this town/ Are there any answers up in the here after/ Oh, if you’ve got somethin’ won’t you send it on down/ While I’m still able to be found‘ –

THIS IS MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!…

Good News! More publications on their way. Stay tuned for more! Follow the links below to read FRAKKNUCKLE teasers…

– To read ‘The Hong Lim Suite’, click below:

https://tristancoleshaw.wordpress.com/the-hong-lim-suite/

– To read ‘The Sun Rising’, click below:

https://tristancoleshaw.wordpress.com/the-sun-rising/

– To read ‘Swapping Kaia’, click below:

https://tristancoleshaw.wordpress.com/swapping-kaia/

moi1.jpg